The Exploding Cantaloupe and the Black Cloaked Apple Thief

I bought a cantaloupe the other day.

I wanted one that a little over ripe as I was attempting to make cantaloupe granita.
Finally found what I wanted, could not wait to get home.

I got the blender out of the cupboard and was all set.
I rinsed off the melon, grabbed the knife and stuck it in the melon.

ZOUNDS!!
The melon exploded- there was pulp, seeds and juice everywhere: my hair, face, clothes. counter top, refrigerator and dishwaher door.
Oh and the smell- My God I could barely breathed.

Was this a terrorist plot-Taliban. Al Queda or some radical pro-melon group.

I called Homeland Security-they laughed- aha the melon terrorist had found a way to forward my calls to their headquarters.
I cleaned up the mess, took a shower and put the clothes in the hamper.
I listened to the radio, watched TV and searched the internet- nothing- no group was claiming the vile act.
Oh well maybe it was something else- but you never know- it could have been a terrorist plot.

The Black Cloaked Apple Thief.
My friend Kevin walks about 2 hours everyday around the complex.
Because he is diabetic he takes an apple, some peanuts and a large bottle of water with him.
He leaves the stuff in a bag and sets it on my car.
The other day as he did his second lap, he noticed the bag was tampered with.
Someone had opend the bag and managed to get the peanuts out, and the apple was on the ground.
Kevin looked around and did not see anyone.
He put everything back in the bag and folded it over so nothing could fall out.
Another lap-and it happend again.
This time it appeared as if someone or something had eaten part of the apple.
Again he put everything back in the bag and continued on his way.
But this time he ducked after the fourth car and watched.
Within seconds the thief arrived- dressed from head to toe in black..
Kevin ran toward the thief- the thief turned toward Kevin raised his head and let loose a loud Ca Caw Ca Caw and flew away.
Who knew crows were that smart.
Not Kevin. Not me.